Adjusting

Today marks three weeks since Katherine has been in college. The first two weeks were hard. Okay, so they have all been hard. Not for Katherine…..she has adjusted just as I knew she would: like college has been waiting for her all along and she finally was able to get on board. Granted she has been blessed with the perfect school, dorm, dorm mates, and program. She has already impressed her professors, written over a dozen papers, received ‘A’s on those she knows the grades for, and joined two clubs. Those being College Republicans and Ballroom Dance. Politics and Dance…two passions. She has attended cultural events, listened to a political analyst, and gone hiking in the mountains. So many new experiences and so many more to come. She has also come home for the weekend, dealing with a flat tire and getting lost along the way. I am very proud of how self assured, confident, and intelligent she is……and I miss her.


The day to day is getting better. I still occasionally find myself getting out five plates, but not as often as in the beginning. Sometimes I find myself being quiet as if she is asleep. Sometimes I just walk into her room and sit on her bed. Yesterday she called me. And we talked about the day’s events. Randy had to have some car work done near there and visited, so she told me about that and about Ballroom class, and about the little things no one thinks are important. Only I have lived so many years with listening to every little detail….so every little detail is important to me. It is one of the things I miss the most about her not being here-listening to her stories. The animated way she has when she talks. I am pretty sure talking with me long distance isn’t always easy. Especially the ‘mom’ part: do you have enough money?, do you need to send your sheets via daddy so I can wash them and bring them back next weekend (family weekend)?, are you eating enough?, sleeping enough?, do you have your work done?. Do you really have to message your boyfriend every night? I know she does not need me to ask any of those questions. But do you have any idea how hard it is to stop? That’s like saying I don’t care anymore. I guess I am not doing well in that area. Exactly how does one stop mothering when it has been your life for so long?